I was in stitches after watching this part… And I thought I’ll share a rough translation of Dongwan’s final speech for the ‘God of Eloquence’ competition^^ SO WACKY LOLOL I HEART DONGWANNIE!
4th Dimensional Word Wizard – DONGWAN
Well I… Seoul… To everyone who lives in Korea (Hyesung: Oh you’re going pretty wide)
There are some things that make me feel hurt (note: he is playing on words – Seoul and the word he uses for ‘hurt’ sound similar)
Everyone, it’s really regrettable (Caption: WHY? / Hyesung: Why is he saying this to Seoul people?)
That you don’t know how I feel!
I may be smiling all the time
But I always feel hurt by everyone (Hyesung: He’s telling Seoul people that he feels hurt by them? / note: he’s doing the Seoul/’hurt’ wordplay again)
Dongwan’s Sad Stories Season 1
There’s a noodle shop in Mapo that I frequent,
And as I was eating my noodles by myself, an ahjumma came up to me.
And I was eating like this.
(The ahjumma said) “Dongwan-sshi, don’t you like it that I can recognise you?” (Caption: Chokes on noodles)
(But the ahjumma continues) “Later before you go, give me your autograph yes?”
I haven’t finished my food yet… And she came over again and said…
“But don’t you really like it that I recognised you?”
I DON’T LIKE IT!
(For a celebrity discount) I’d be happy if you recognized me when I was paying the bill!
I was eating my food and you asked me if I was happy!
How could I be happy?!
I’m not happy, I can’t digest my food properly!
Every time I go, I choke on my food! *Dongwan accidentally spits*
Every time I go, I can’t digest my food properly! (Minwoo: Don’t spit!)
Do you know how hard I try to find opportunities to go when you’re not there?
The other ahjummas would just smile at me *Dongwan accidentally spits again*
Why do you keep asking me if I’m happy to be recognized? (Eric pretending to be the ahjumma: Dongwan, aren’t you happy?)
I really hate hearing that! (Hyesung: Wow this is a water show / Eric: I really want to put the heart rate monitor on him / Junjin: You should capture him spitting in slow motion)
Eric: I think his heart rate is 145
Dongwan’s Sad Stories Season 2
I used to attend a Japanese language school in Sinchon, and I could understand a little Japanese then.
I was walking around Sinchon… and a Japanese behind me said, “Ah… So desu ka… Chicchai! Chicchai!” (Hyesung: What does that mean?)
Chisai means short… Chicchai means tiny!
I understand that!
Did you think I couldn’t understand that?
Fine you can say I’m chisai because I’m really not tall… I’m short
But chicchai, tiny! (Minwoo: I’m upset about this too!)
(Caption: Both are chicchai…)
Dongwan’s Sad Stories Season 3
I often wear pants with brands (Minwoo: But all pants have brands)
The pricier brands
If I go and buy pants that cost more than USD100
I’d put it on and pay for it straightaway
And I always pay it off at one go.
In one lump sum.
At the moment when I’m about to walk out
(The store assistant said) “We provide free alteration services to shorten the pants” (Caption: His shortened pride!)
There’s somewhere else I go to get it done!
I’m going there to get the pants shortened secretly! *Dongwan accidentally spits for the 3rd time*
(Enraged!) Why do I have to get the pants shortened at your shop?
I pay for the pants in one lump sum and I was about to go home, why did you hold me back?
Don’t hold me back! (Junjin: Looks like he really has a lot of pent-up grievances)
Dongwan’s Sad Stories Season 4
And this happened just the other week, I was at the multiplex (Eric: He really has a lot of pent-up grievances)
To catch a movie by myself, because there was a movie I wanted to watch
(A girl, who was there with her boyfriend, recognized Dongwan) The girlfriend recognized me and said to her boyfriend, “Omo isn’t that Dongwan-sshi? Kim Dongwan, Kim Dongwan!”
The boyfriend replied, “Who’s that? I don’t know him. Who is he? That guy? I don’t know him.”
I HEARD YOU!
If you don’t know me so be it! Why did you have to tell me?
It’s not like I can do this in front of you! *sings and dances to Venus* (Caption: Chicchai dance)
I can’t do this, can I?! (Junjin: This is enough to fill one episode / Eric: Let’s sit down and listen to him)
(Eric: Think hard, do you have any more stories?)
Dongwan’s Sad Stories Season 5
I went to buy a pair of expensive shoes (Caption: Luxury guy! Expensive pants and expensive shoes!)
(Eric: Did it cost more than USD100?)
It costs more than USD100.
So I went to buy these shoes that cost more than USD100, and I was trying them on.
I always buy shoes that are about 0.5cm or 1cm larger.
But the store assistant insisted that shoes should always fit nicely
But I wanted to wear shoes 1cm larger
And when I kept wearing shoes that were 1cm larger, the store assistant kept telling me that the shoes had to fit.
Then how do I put in the insoles?! (Caption: The 1cm secret!)
(Eric: Long live Dongwan!)
I need at least 1cm of space!
Can’t you pretend not to know?
I may be smiling all the time,
But if my smile starts to tremble, please understand.